Won't be updating using onsugar now.
I'll update using my tumblr.
Peace :) x

We don't talk much anymore.
I don't know what happened.
But i'm too tired and worn out to care anymore.

I hate being replaced.
I wanna sleep forever.
Meh.
Peace :) x

I tried my best, but to no avail.
I'm not throwing you aside.
I just don't wanna lose them too.

I really hope you can understand.
I didn't ask for this.

Anywayz, i won't be blogging much now.
I'll most prolly be updating my tumblr.
I'm tired of blogging.

So, view my tumblr for like, updates/pictures or whatever.
Omfg by the way, go check out the music video, Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold.
It's so fucking awesome. To A7x fans out there, that song holds a lot of meaning and emotions.

GO CHECK OUT THE MV YEAH.
I'm crazy over the chorus. Love the pianos in the background.
And the rhythm of the drums.
I miss Jimmy. :(

Peace :) x

Why, whenever i treat people really nice, they treat me like shit in return.
Why, whenever i treat people like shit, yet they still treat me really nice in return?
That's a question i'll have to think about.

I'm like a strong block of ice.
It's funny how my insides melt whenever i look at you.
I need to find a fridge/freezer. Someone/something to keep me frozen.
A distraction. To stop me from turning into a weak puddle of water.

I have to stay strong. Cuz everything's not worth it.
I would rather feel neutral than feeling super happy one day, then sad for the other days.

Hopefully this is the last time i have to repeat this process.
I know life is about making mistakes,
but i've been making this same mistake for a few times already.
This will be the last. I HOPE.
Peace :) x

Thank you, babes. I really appreciate it. x

I'm tired.
Not the omfg-i'm-so-tired-i-need-some-sleep kinda tired.
It's the omfg-there's-so-many-things-to-do-but-i-don't-have-the-time kinda tired.

Well actually, i'm experiencing both at once.
And this is only the first week of school after summer break.
I hope i can survive.
I can't wait for Monday!
Peace :) x

So tell me, if the heart's the strongest muscle in our body, then why does it break so easily?

Second day of school and i'm already so restless.
I gotta keep this up for at least 3 to 4 months.
I hate waking up early. Rahh!

I'm having second thoughts.
Nothing i can do about it.
I can sulk all i want, but it doesn't change anything.
So i would rather push aside everything and just smile.
Peace :) x

BLIND.

Brand new start.

Hate being confused as to whether was it sincerity or making use of me.
Don't wanna feel like crap anymore.

I need some self-satisfaction to make myself feel better.
I'm determined to kick ass!
Peace :) x

Geokteng, Koohui and i went to White Sands to get the barbecue stuff.
It was heavy and we were lazy to carry the stuff
all the way to Costa Sands so i called the guys to come over.
Cherngsean and Quanwee came. Purchased our stuff and went to the interchange.

Met Sooyong and Xuchao there then we took the bus to Downtown East.
Went to our chalet room. The guys there were busy with their own stuff.
Some were playing the PS2, i think. Some were playing with their PSP or iPhone/iTouch.

It was kinda weird at first but we got used to it.
Koohui and i kept eating Mochi Mochi that we had bought. Yummy!
I kept using Nick's iPhone to play Fruit Ninja.
I broke the current record, but Andrew beat my record.

Played a little bit of Burnout with them.
Then they played Digimon. Okaaay..
I didn't know how to play so i didn't play.

When Lyeheng arrived, we went to Wild Wild Wet!
We didn't have enough cash to buy the tickets so i have to borrow cash from Bak.
Nick and Quanwee said that they bought tickets for 4 but they gave them 5.
So they said it was a free ticket and one of us could have it.

Turned out, it was a RECEIPT!
I think they didn't know it was a receipt, too. Hilarious.
We all went in and we went into the Shiok River, i think. It was crazy.
We kept capsizing when we tried to sit in the big tube float thingy.

In the end, Geokteng, Koohui and i managed to sit on ONE big tube float thing.
But we were moving at a snail's pace.
Some nice and friendly people actually helped to push us twice.

We wanted to get out of the river already when we saw 3 small green tube float thing.
We took one each and i tried to sit up on it. I capsized like, 3-5 times!
When i was finally up, with the help of my girls, i was happy. It was so relaxing just lying there.
I just held onto Koohui's float as she was walking.

When we came to a stop, we waited at the steps for the guys as they were nowhere to be found.
In the end, we only saw Bak, Daren and Quanwee. Then we joined them.

So we went to sit the, big float thing that slides down a slide.
Just nice, 6 people. It was super fun!
The girls were screaming and laughing while the boys were like, whoa-ing and laughing.

Next up, we went for the purple slide.
It was super dark when you're sliding down, so it was pretty scary.
Then, we went to sit the, big 'U' shaped thing.
The thing that goes down super fast, then up, then down, then up and so on till it slows down?
Nevermind, i don't know how to explain. We have to pair up.

So i went with Daren cuz we have an odd number of girls. It was fun!!
But the carrying of the float up the stairs wasn't.
After that, we all went to get our stuff from the lockers.
The guys went back to the chalet while we bathed at Wild Wild Wet.

After we were done bathing, we went back to the chalet.
Continued playing my Fruit Ninja. I broke their record with a score of 424!
Anyhoo, Fengting and Lyeheng helped to get the barbecue pit started.
Geokteng had to leave so she went home first.

We started cooking stuff. I learned how to cook sausages, thanks to my 'master'.
I love spreading the margarine.
It started to rain so we had to go back inside.
Fengting and Lyeheng sacrificed themselves and continued barbecuing for awhile.
They went back in and cooked the remaining food with hot, boiling water.

Watched some teevee and i started to get bored.
Daren's parents was fetching him earlier, sudden change of plans.
So Daren, Koohui and i went off at about 9.
The ride was awkward but i got used to it.

Dropped Koohui off and we went home.
I'm so tired.
I've got a lot to think about today.

Sadly, i didn't take any pictures with them. We didn't have the time.
I remember my 'master' said something about taking pictures. Oh well.
Maybe the next chalet then! Can't wait for it.
Peace :) x

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

I've been deceived right in my face countless times.
I'm okay with it.
But this, is something new.

Never have i been so hurt.
I was so stupid. I didn't think of the obvious.
But whatever, there's nothing i can do about it now.

Do what you want, don't let me hold you back, really.
I don't wanna think or do anything, so leave me out of everything.
Peace :) x

Nothing hurts more than this.

The CCA outing last Thursday rocked!
After training, we had activities. Ice-breaking then water bombs.
I was drenched from head to toe. I like!

We were given time to wash up. I went back home to bathe and all that.
Barbecue at Stagmont Park.
All i know was that i was being pampered and well fed!
Thanks, feeders!

It was fun, talking to my team mates.
Got a little bit closer to the juniors, which is a good start.
Most of them started leaving at 10 plus, i stayed only till 11.
I went home with a smile and a satisfied tummy.

On Monday, me and my gossip girls went to McDonald's to eat and study.
I saw many of my classmates there.
We studied till 6 plus and we bought dinner back to my place.
Before heading to my place, we went to the stadium to book the tables.

Went to my place to have dinner. Awkward..
Afterward, we headed to Clarissa's place as she had to do some stuff.
We went back to the stadium and trained among ourselves from 9 to 10.
I went back home, tired but contented.

On tuesday, i had to resit for the stupid E Math paper.
So i was late for training. Physical training was tiring but fun!
Took out our skippings ropes..
We had to skip 1000 times. 300, rest, 300, rest then 400.
Felt a sense of accomplishment after doing it.

Fooled around with the skipping ropes and training was over!
We went to have our lunch with coach and we went back to school.
Discussed about the notice board and we went out to get our materials.

Came back to school and we got to work.
It was kinda boring at first cuz we didn't know what to do, but after awhile we were busy as bees!
It was only like, one-quarter done. We're gonna complete it later!
Can't wait to meet my girls in about 6 hours time!

My sleeping timing is way off. One night i slept at 530, then the next 330.
I'm torturing my body. I'm gonna sleep earlier today then. At least 4 hours of sleep.
Looking forward to later on!

And omfg, i'm stoked about the chalet on Thursday! Even though i ain't staying overnight.
I'm only going for one day cuz i'm busy and me mama's unhappy cuz i keep going out. Whatever!
One whole day of fun! Better make full use of it. Time for me to loosen up and go crazy!!
Peace :) x

Things are different in reality, i wanna stay in my dreams forever.

I'M BACK!
I had so much fun that i didn't wanna come back.
The whole trip was amazing beyond words.
I feel so carefree over there.
5th to 9th of June.

I loved the nights. It was crazy, sneaky and fun.
Murderer, food, teevee.
Rooms 06: Daren, Faez, Hazel, Irfan, Maithily, Nicolette, Pearlyn Ravin, Reitian, Warren, Wenyan and i.
K, let me talk about the trip in order. Let me just get my itinerary..

Day 1.
Say goodbye to our parents at the airport.
Boarded the plane and off we go!

We arrived at Vietnam. Had some chicken/beef noodles thingy for lunch.
Checked in at Oscar Saigon Hotel. I shared a room with Wenyan. Room 111.
Afterward, we visited the Reunification Palace, Post Office thingy.
Nothing that amazed me.

Did some shopping afterward. We didn't shop for our own stuff, yet.
We bought stuff for the children at the orphanage that we're gonna be visiting the next day.
Had our dinner at this restaurant. We ate, food.

Mr Teo got me, reitian and wenyan into the professional camera taking frenzy.
He taught us how to focus and all that shizz. It was so cool. Now i'm wishing for a DSLR camera.
After our dinner, we went back to our hotel.

Did our planning for games for the visit to the orphanage.
Went over to Jeremy's room and planned the games.
Mr Teo came in and we wrote our reflections of the day.
Back to our own hotel rooms, washed up, sleep.

Wenyan and i left the teevee on till the next morning.
I didn't sleep well. Not cuz of the teevee.

Day 2.
Morning call, washed up, had breakfast at the 11th floor of the hotel. Buffet!
I had bread and cakes. I love the cakes. Yummy yum.
Boarded the bus and we went to the orphanage.

We were told to take care of two children.
I chose two super adorable little boys.
One of time was so happy to see me.
The other was just, running about.

Anywayz, we gave them the prezzies that we had bought for them.
They looked so happy. Hmm, we took loads of pictures with them and played games.
After that was their nap time so we drew and cut out some decorations, had our lunch and rested for a little while.
Then, we painted and spray painted their walls.

We taught them simple English words. But apparantly, it wasn't THAT successful.
We had to go and i gave my little boy a hug. He kissed me thrice on the cheek, cuz i asked him to.
I gave him a little peck on the cheeks. Aww, i know.

We had dinner at this restaurant place thingy.
Back to our hotel, washed up.
Then, we went to Room 506 to play blind mice.
The blind mice got whacked by pillows. It hurt.
Lights out and we went back to our rooms.

Day 3.
Visited the University of i-don't-know-what.
Then the war muesuem thingy. It was cool.
Shopping at night. It was hell fun!
I bought two shades. One cyclops, one casual shades and a cap.
We went back to our hotel. Went to the supermarket nearby and loaded up on snacks.

Went over to Room 506 again. We didn't play blind mice this time. Just chilled and talked.
We left at around 2am or 3am, i'm not too sure, back to our hotel rooms.
Sleeep.

Day 4.
Visited a rice field thingy. Took the bus to someplace and we sat on a boat.
Visited a coconut candy factory thingy.
Went to a honey-bee-ish place. Took a picture with a snake. Mad rad.
Sat on a small boat, i don't know what is it called. Sanpan? Sapan or whatever. Back to the boat.

Bought my lovely fedora and a vietnam shirt when we arrived back on land.
We had our dinner on this ship thing. It was awesome.
Celebrated Miss Hamida's birthday there, even though it's not on the actual day.

After dinner, it was night shopping again! I bought 2 shirts.
Back to hotel, washed up.

Went to Room 406 this time.
We played murderer with poker cards and it was hell fun.

We ate loads of snacks too. Slept for an hour and went back to our room at like, 6.

Day 5.
We visited the Cu Chi tunnel. It was kinda scary, the narrow and dark tunnel part.
Otherwise, it was all cool. Saw a hot guy over there.
Loads of fat and juicy centipedes. Yup.

Went straight to the airport afterward.
Took the plane back to Singapore.
Took loads of pictures and then we went home.
Home sweet home.

That's about it. Pictures on Facebook.
Peace :) x

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY TO KOOHUI!

You're prolly reading this, (i think), cuz i told you to do so before i leave for Vietnam.
I'm sorry i'm not here to celebrate your birthday with you.

You should know i'm not updating this at Vietnam, i planned this before i left.
You must be very touched!
Kidding.

Anywayz, thanks for being there for me whenever i need it.
And one thing i know for sure, is that i need someone here with me all the time.
Cuz i don't how much longer i can handle it. (You know what i'm talking about).

Thanks to Geokteng too, if you're reading this.
Without you guys, i wouldn't be smiling right now as i type this.
I can't wait to see you guys again.

I'm planning a surprise for you all when i get back.
Well, at least i think it is a surprise.
So, wait for my return! Which is only.. one more day from now?

Hopefully i can see you guys on Thursday!
Peace :) x

I don't know where i would be without my girls and guys.

I'm flying to Vietnam tomorrow and i won't be back till Wednesday!
Miss me people. Cuz i will miss you all.
My luggage is packed but i'm not ready to leave.

But yet at the same time i'm looking forward to it.
This is the perfect time to escape from some stuff and to have fun.
I don't have to think about anything or anyone back in Singapore for the time being.

All the drama will be held back temporarily.
Yuppity yup yup. Hmm, oh yeah, i know i'll get like, super tanned, AGAIN.
Hopefully no sunburns! Me don't like.

Well, i'll be back in 5 days!
I wonder what will happen while i'm gone. Hmmm.
Peace :) x

Countless times i've seen it, but i just don't wanna believe it.

Went to watch Prince Of Persia with my 'mama' and 'niece' today.
I think Prince Dastan is hot in the movie!
I rate the movie 9 out of 10.

I remember i used to play the game on my Play Station 2 in the past.
It's cool, the game i mean.
The movie too.

After the movie, we went back to Yewtee to slack.
Faez joined us for awhile and then 'mama' and Faez had to go for their tuition.
'Gay' didn't join us! Boo.

Me and my 'niece' went home after that.
Oh yeah, we went to watch the handball matches at NUS on Saturday.
It was really fun.
But i was really tired cuz i woke up at around 6.
We went there at around 8-9 plus.

We wore the wrong attire cuz we thought it was a carnival.
Actually, it was a sports carnival. Damn.
I was expecting a carnival with games and we can win prizes or some sort.
It'll be stellar.

But too bad, it wasn't. So yeap, fun fun!
Had dinner and then i went home. Thanks Faez for taking the bus with me.
I went back home, washed up and met up with my JOY girls at around 830.

Went to Yewtee Point to get a drink then head back to our playground.
Talked about stuff and sang some songs.

I wanted to go home early, so we went home at around 950.

I was really tired cuz i only had four hours of sleep.
Cuz on Friday, i went over to Melina's place.
It was filled with fun! We went to Orchard Central, Heaven's Loft, Ben & Jerry's
to look for Melissa, Melina's sister.

Me sissy, Melina and i had Ben & Jerry's and just chilled.
Then, we went to 313's Forever 21.
HEAVEN!

I bought a tank top, a 'LOVE' ring and a diamond necklace.
Mellie joined us after her work.
Then, we had Pizzahut for dinner at Bukit Panjang Plaza and we took a cab back to Melina's place.
Watched the movie, Up with Melina on her computer while eating snacks.

Then, Melina and i lied on her bed and just, talked.
I feel so much better after letting everything out.
I went back home at around 1 plus.
Slept at around 2.

Busy busy holidays. Sigh.
Peace :) x

Am i not good enough?

I don't wanna play the second fiddle anymore.
I don't feel appreciated at all.

I feel like as if my presence is not needed.

Looks like this summer is the time where i'll correct my flaws.
And when i come back, i'll prove people wrong.

Thanks for your company and words, it made me feel better.

But sometimes in life, words can't change things.
Actions are the ones that can make a difference.

It hurts to know that i can't compare.

You already got the one thing that i've always wanted.
So please, stop taking everything else away from me.

Peace :) x

I'M BACK FROM CAMP.
RED AND TANNED.

Red cuz of sunburn and mosquito bites.
Tanned cuz of the, well, sun.
I don't like.

Anywayz. To summarize the whole camp.
It was, fun, fun and FUN!
My Sagos and i went really high on the bus ride there.
We kept singing songs.

Reached the campsite and we went separate ways. I felt lonely.
But i felt better after opening up and talking to people.
Group 5, Stockholm is best!
Instructor Melvin rocked! Even though he abandoned us at times.

The night walk boosted my confidence, somehow.
I couldn't sleep well on the first night.
There were lots of tossing and turning.

Second day.
Had Scavenger Hunt. It was super fun.
Cuz we get to like, walk on a huge water pipe.
Then we get to walk in a river.

Despite some insecurities, i had fun!
Next was the Basic Jungle Survival.
We cooked maggi noodles. I enjoyed burning dried leaves and grass.

CAMPFIRE ROCKED.
There were 4 different sections, so my group was in section 1.
And we won! As in, among all the groups in our section, my group won.

We danced Tik Tok by Ke$ha.
Thanks to Amalina for the awesome dance moves.
We had reflection after the campfire and i teared up.

I slept like a log that night.

Third day.
Our raft building failed. We didn't have much time so we proceeded to Flying Fox.
It was hell fun! We did freestyle.
So when i jumped, my both hands was sticking out, doing a \m/.

Crossed the river by pulling a rope. I floated, paddled and pulled the rope.
But halfway through, i was too lazy so i cheated.
I just kinda like, 'walked' back to 'shore'.

We were the last group to end our activities so we were given the permission to gather later than the rest.
Had our last meal of the day and then we boarded the bus.
The ride back was.. too awesome for words.
The Sagos chilled at the backseat, sang some songs and just, talked.

We had Subway for lunch and we went back to school to play basketball.
I left at around 6 cuz me mama told me to go home.
Home sweet home.

I finally feel safe, clean and secure.
Peace :) x

I hate change.
I was contented with everything the way it was few months ago.

Frankly, i've always wanted things to change.
But to change for the better.
I guess i just made things worse.

I have failed myself in almost everything.

I realized you can never really trust anyone in life.
Not even your closest friends.
Cuz you'll never know what goes on behind your back.

Here's the story of my life. I trust people too easily.
Make friends with me and you'll know my whole life, cuz i'm talkative.
That's not really the point but anyway,
I trusted 3 person that i really shouldn't have.

One of them is currently, sorta-maybe out of my life now.
I'm glad the other 2 are still my friends.
To make this clear, they are not from my clique.

I so do not want misunderstandings to erupt after reading this.
Blappity blah. So yeah. Lookie over there. 3 freaking people.
I made the same mistake, like what, THRICE.

I promise myself i won't get fooled again.

OMFG. SEC3 CAMP.
I can't wait! NOT.

Anyway, i feel super accomplished today.
I did an ultra kill in Sudden Attack. Wee!

Sniped 4 suckers down in a row.
K, it's not a big deal for pros, but it's a big deal for a nub like me.
Teehee! Happy happy.
Peace :) x

This is ridiculous.
Somehow, when you look at other peoples' lives, you will think that their lives are perfect.

Well, if you don't, then don't bother reading this part.
Cuz i feel that way.
It just seems that i'm never satisfied with my life.

I will always find a flaw about myself.
And even if i correct that flaw, i will miraculously find ANOTHER flaw.

Which is kinda annoying.
So i have to always correct my flaws, which is getting reaaally tiring.

K whatever, enough about myself. SEC3 CAMP.
I. AM. SO. NOT. LOOKING. FORWARD. TO. IT.

Cuz i just realized you'll be split into different groups.
By split, i really mean split. They freaking mix the whole cohort well.
ANNOYING MUCH.

Man, i won't be with any of my girls. (i think?)
But whatever, sooo not looking forward to muscle aches, mosquito bites, perspiration, sunburns.
I'll be like super tan after the camp. Or maybe sunburned really badly.

ANYWAYZ. I had training at NUS today. It was hell fun.
Coachie trained 3 of us only. So i guess it helps us train more cuz he can just focus on us.
It was, fun fun fun. But so tired tired tired. I was like, dozing off in coachie's car.
And that was BEFORE the training.

K, neeways. I failed E Math Paper 1. 28/60. Yay, applause.
My English grade, overall, i scored.. C5. I'm lazy to list out the marks of all the different sections.
CRAPPITY CRAP. So gotta buck up in my studies.

See? There's the flaw thingy again.
Annoying!
I'm gonna kick the End Of Year Examinations ass.
Mark my words.

Yada yada yada. Me is bored. Another boring day at school tomorrow.
Peace :) x

I'm on the HIIIGHHHWAYYY TO HELLL~ HIGHWAY TO HELL!
That was the song played at the end of Iron Man 2.
I kept singing it after the movie.

ANYWAYS, I THINK IRON MAN 2 WAS FREAKING AWESOME.
I THINK THE MACHINARIES, MACHINE GUNS AND BOMBS ARE LIKE SUPER AWESOME!!

I think the electric whip thingy guy is hella cool. The electric whip thing i mean.
I started to act like as if i'm Iron Man after the movie, which made me look ridiculous.
I wonder if i would start prancing around with some kung fu moves after i watch Ip Man 2.
9 outta 10 for Iron Man 2. Actually, all movies are nice.

Neeways, i'm so fuh-reak-ing glad the stupid exams are over with.
I FEEL SO FREE. K NOT.
I still got loads of things to do. JUNE HOLIDAYS? WHAT HOLIDAYS?

We still have to return to school for like, lessons and trainings.
GAHH, THEY CALL THIS A HOLIDAYYY? HELLO.

Ladada. Hmm, Sec3 camp.
I don't know if i'm looking forward to all the sticky and eeyucky sweaty stuff,
but i'm looking forward to the bus ride. I don't know, i think bus rides are fun.

I GOT BACK TWO PAPERS TODAY.

I sucked at A math, no doubt about that. Chemistry...
Hmm, let's just say i need one more mark to get an A2. I scored 34.5/50.
I passed A math. SURPRISINGLY. With an outstanding 41/80.
Ha.

LALALA. THIS POST IS NOT LOOKING SO DEAD AIN'T IT?
K, SO I DON'T HAVE TO UPDATE IT MUCH NOW.
YOU CAN READ THIS POST OVER AND OVER AGAIN, SO THAT MAKES IT ALIVE.

IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL ALIVEEE.
K LAME.
Teehee!
Peace :) x

Mmm, beef! K i did that on purpose.
Yay, my Onsugar is dead, dead, dead!
EXAMS NOW, SO I CAN'T REALLY UPDATE MUCH.

Btw, i'm down with flu. It sucks.

I HATE IT WHEN THE SNEEZE IS COMING, BUT THEN IT GOES RIGHT BACK.
It'll leave a really sneezy feeling in my nose. I don't like.

Oh wait. I thought of something yesterday.
If you expect the unexpected, then it won't be unexpected anymore right?
Gahh, i don't even know what the heck am i saying.

Whatever. I'm just bored, crazy and curious. TEEHEE.

Peace :) x

366 days and it was really nice seeing and knowing you. But it's time for me to say goodbye.
Peace :)

I'm trying to fix the pieces back together, even though none of them can fit any longer.
Nothing feels right.
I'm trying my best not to let everything fall apart.

I guess some things can never change, no matter what you do.
So should i let things fall apart, since it was all fated?
Or should i try to fix things? Even though it's impossible.

I'm so effed up.

I try to help others, and i can't even help myself.
Yay me.

I hope i can finally find some place safe where i can finally feel like as if i belong.
Cuz right now, i'm feeling out of place.
Peace :)

2 more days and i'll see if i should continue, or stop.

Omg, i wanna hug him so bad. Look at his face, so freaking adorable! <3
Love his hair, snakebites and tattoos. Yummy. :)
I love his sexy voice/screams~

I don't like you, so stay the hell away from me.
Peace :)

I need time to get used to this.
I still can't believe it.
But i guess it's for the best.

Sick and tired of the way you're behaving now.
I know it's mean of me to say that but, that's how i feel.
Just stop it. Drop it. I can't stand it.

One day i'll just confront you.
Count on it.
Peace :)